A Little Bit About Me
Let's get the professional stuff out of the way first: I am software developer by training (recieved my indoctrination from the UofT Scarborough Campus), started working in the wireless telecom industry, then moved to application development, and then took a brief hiatus from work to study International Development at Humber College. I`ve worked in Waterloo for a software company, and for a short time at not-for-profit in Toronto. I am currently at a Digital Marketing company in the downtown area of Toronto.
When I do have time, and someone to spend the time with (*hint* *hint*), I enjoy sightseeing and traveling to new places. I've taken a road trip several years ago to the Maritime provinces, but there remains so such more to see and explore. I've done the drive up the California Coastline on the Pacific Coast Highway 1 - scenery truly out of this world and will definitely cause one to reflect on the Majestic Almighty. I've got photos on flickr for anyone interested.
What does finding a soul mate mean for me? Well, there comes a time in one's life where you need to share your experiences with someone special, since it no longer means as much to accomplish anything on your own. I am hopeful that many more wonders lay just over the horizon, but realize that they will be interspersed among inescapable challenges. I need someone with whom I can enjoy those wonders that remain to be discovered, and cherish those discoveries I would never have realized or valued on my own, as well as face the challenges are part of destiny InshaAllah.
In case you might be wondering, I'm an INFJ according to the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality assessment.
What I Am Looking For
I am looking for someone whom I can really connect with at a sub-conscious level. Obviously that something that will take time to develop, but I hope that putting it out there might help try to explain what I am looking for.
Looks are important as is mutual attraction at the most primitive levels. A constant desire and aspiration to be the one to fulfill each others needs, and become that garment that we've been taught about. A garment in its physical form is the closest thing that perpetually protects, touches, comforts and caresses the human body. It also hides imperfections and blemishes. I like to reflect on what it means to be a garment to someone else.
I would like someone who has respect and appreciation for Islam, and in particular the core values that it gives us.
The world is a big mess these days, and will likely get messier before it gets better, so I am looking for someone who can support a strategic mindset that requires 100% interaction with the people with whom we live and work around. I don't believe in blind following, but I do believe that we need to evaluate situations based on the context they present themselves in. Someone who sees themselves more like a cube with 6 faces but with an unmistakeably well-defined core. Yes, we have multiple identities, or multidimensional identities - but I sincerely think we are fortunate that we can express ourselves in different ways, rather than treating ourselves as though we are static rocks who are completely oblivious of our surroundings.
I believe in leading by example, and by doing rather than saying. How else can we explain ourselves unless we practically show what we are made of in the best possible way?
I hope that gives you a glimmer of what might lay behind this profile InshaAllah.
I thought I should add something about my perspectives on Islamic practice. I do try very hard to keep up with the daily prayers, fasting, etc. I try to be particular about my prayers, and will venture out to a back alley somewhere to quickly pray if the time for that prayer is about to finish, or sit and pray depending on the circumstances. I cannot stand the mental uneasiness of missing a prayer.
Having said that, I don't only associate with like minded-people in this regard, and often go out with friends for dinner/movies who are non-muslim, but they all know and usually work around my prayer timings. In fact, I would say that I hang out more with my non-muslim friends. Do I want my partner to pray regularly? Yes. What if they don't? I would prefer that they do, otherwise it would be a fairly significant mismatch. I would want my children, InshaAllah, to live in a home where its common practice, and not one where they are told to do something, but don't see their parents practicing it. I would be open to anyone who might not be entirely practicing when it comes to regular prayers, but sees themselves doing so in the future, with the right encouragement. We all go through highs and lows in faith and spirit, so its a matter of helping each other through, in my opinion. I might be one who is pretty solid in some areas now (alhamdulillah), but that might not be the case with in the future, and I would appreciate the support to get back on my feet, without judgement.
With respect to hijab and concept of modesty, the women in my family practice the hijab, more so out of personal choice. I've been questioning my own position on it, and have to admit that I am a bit of a fence sitter on it. I understand the functional value of the hijab, especially in a climate where its all too common to see the far opposite end of the modesty spectrum. I also understand the benefit is has to the wearer, and the particular value it offers younger girls growing up with all the peer pressure to get attention by revealing more. My own feeling is that I respect it, and those who wear it, but don't treat those who don't as deserving of less respect. Do I want someone who wears the hijab? I don't know, honestly. I think the best answer I can give, is that I am open either way. I know that statement is likely to turn some people off, but it is what it is, and I'd rather be upfront about it.
With respect to careers, I am a bit traditional in my thinking. I am not strong headed, but I do feel that its the husband's responsibility to carry the financial burden of having a family. I think a family should spend and live within the means of the husband. I know that a couple, especially with dual incomes, can lead quite the high-rolling type of life, but I would rather spend on internal growth and experiencing the world, than lavishness. I believe in minimalism.
I work in a fairly stressful environment. My pie-in-the-sky dream would be to come home after a stressful day, and be able to relax in the comfort of my family. I don't mind cooking and love to cook, and that is probably the one household chore that allows me to de-stress very quickly, but I do dread coming home to a spouse who has come home with an equivalent amount of workplace stress. Logically speaking, if the husband is responsible for the financial well-being of the family, and is bearing the brunt of maintaining the livelihood, then I don't see the reasoning for the spouse to have to be exposed to a similar magnitude of workplace stress on a regular basis. I am an idealist, and know that you have to be practical as well.
Women are afforded the opportunity to get educated, develop themselves professionally, and excel. While I'd prefer to shoulder the responsibility of family, I wouldn't deter my wife from working. I think it would be topic of further discussion on how we feel about raising a family and the kind of nurturing kids (if Allah wills it) need, and continuing to support ourselves in our professions.
I also believe that a couple shouldn't base the relationship on a 50-50 split of duties and responsibilities. I think each person should be ready to stand-in 100% for the other, as the need arises. We have to have each others back, at all times.
Being an INFJ according to Myers-Briggs, my personality type is most compatible with ENFP (or ENTP) types, atleast in theory. I think personality is just one dimension, but certainly an important one.