A Little Bit About Me
Allah is the best of planners.
I would say I'm a moderately practicing Muslim who completes her daily prayers and tries to engage in regular sunnah acts such as fasting on Mondays and Thursdays, and also studying the deen when I can.
I have recently started a part time alimiyah course (better late than never, its always been an aspiration of mine). I've chosen to study for myself, not for the title. Its a 5 year course, and I understand that it may not be possible for me to finish the course in one go, as after marriage, or once I have kids, I will have different priorities.
I also teach full time at a school in East London.
I am close to my family and value the existing relationships I have. I was married for a short period of time and ended due to incompatibility. It was not a typical newly married type scenario for me, i never experienced building ties with my in-laws nor experience the cultural aspect so this would all be new to me, but something I look forward to inshaAllah.
On a brighter note, I have chosen to take on board all the mistakes and lessons learnt from this trial in order to make myself a better individual and inshaAllah a better wife and mother one day.
I have a western modest dress sense. I am close to my family and value the existing relationships I have. I enjoy, sometimes struggle, going to the gym, I like trying out new places to eat. I have a sweet tooth so I love desserts. However when I'm stressed I stress/comfort eat. I enjoy going to the cinema, etc. I can be quite outdoorsy, I like going to parks, or doing things like paintballing or zip wire. I enjoy watching comedies, rom com, adventure, sometimes even thriller/horror provided that im watching it with someone.
InshaAllah I hope to be blessed with a spouse who will dedicate time to me and with whom I can build an amazing friendship with to enjoy the luxuries of this life and do all these things with and build happy memories together as well as building a strong family unit together bounded by respect, honesty and love.
Most importantly bringing out the best in each other and complimenting each others characteristics.
What I Am Looking For
My long yet specific list (the more open now, the less the room forconfusion):
-someone who is openly practicing, must pray 5x a day, as well as doing other mandatory obligations and has been doing so for the last few years so that they already have a strong daily commitment. (not someone who has recently made the change to become practicing).
-someone with good character and morals. And who knows how to respect women.
-someone who has good family ties. Especially with the women of their house.
-be willing to move out of family home after marriage
-accept and help me to fulfil my alimyah programme, help me financially should I ever be out of work and accept that i will be giving up time to focus on that I.e. attend lessons and revise at home.
-someone who actively seeks out knowledge by attending classes or some means of educating/learning islamic studies.
-someone who is mature enough to understand and learn the context of hadiths and ayahs as opposed to take literal translations. Not use hadiths in arguements to prove a point especially in the wrong contexts.
-someone who has intention to go hajj & inshaAllah take me to complete hajj in the first few years of marriage.
-someone who understands the rights of a husband and wife. Who is emotionally intelligent, rational and can control their anger. Someone who can guide his family and keep them on a straight path.
-I am quite a sensitive person so I would love someone who knows how to be gentle and sensitive towards women.
-financially stable/ stable job and income
-if you are someone who has been brought up with your mum or sisters doing all the household chores and responsibilities, and expect your wife to takeover the entire responsibilities, I am not the woman for you.
I need someone who will be helpful towards his wife and to pass on the skills of being generous and helpful to our children.
I would want our kids to see their father helping around the house, so that they are encouraged to do so, and so that when their time comes, they find it normal to help around. I really dislike the culture of mothers molly-cuddling sons and for them not having to lift a finger at home. I dont wish for this culture in my home. InshaAllah if I am blessed with sons, I would definitely enforce household chores, even in the kitchen with him.
-someone who is a romantic at heart, and will dress to impress. Understand that marriage is not a one way street, we must compromise for each other. One can't change their spouse, but instead changes themselves to best suit the needs of their partner. These are all things that I want to practice in my marriage.
-someone with a sense of humour, who knows how to crack a joke as well enjoy going out to explore different things.
-someone who is open to seeking external help (marriage counselling)
Ideally someone who is around the same age mark as me, or older. And (preferably) someone who is tall, bengali, who keeps a beard and a non smoker.
I feel that these criterias are needed to build a loving, playful, loyal and honest marriage with a strong Islamic foundation.
Thank you for taking the time to read my profile. I pray that everyone here finds a spouse who is compatible for them and finds themselves a spouse who makes them a better Muslim.