A Little Bit About Me
Ok so what would you like to know about me…?
I could list so many positive qualities about myself after all don’t we all think the sun shines from within us? What would be the point in listing qualities, that, lets be frank you have read a million times before you even clicked on my profile and have no earthly way of knowing if I am telling the truth or if I am full of it?
Perhaps it might be more worthwhile if I give you an idea of my life and you can make your own mind up as to what kind of person I may or may not be…
I work with victims of harassment, neglect, domestic and physical abuse and an array of other social evils (so understanding, non-judgemental, open minded and don’t shock easily… trust me there is nothing you could tell me that I haven’t already heard before)
Run my own sports coaching company in the evenings/weekends coaching kids from 5-18 the joys and delights of cricket. Heavily involved in my cricket club: captain of the first team, junior team manager, junior coach and club Welfare Officer (hard working, well respected, responsible, independent, certified as responsible and great with kids)
Have a gorgeous new build 2 bedroom apartment, balcony both sides with some spectacular views seriously coming home from a long day and watching the sun set, or waking up for Fajr and watching the sun rise is amazing just would be awesome share that experience with (can cook, clean, iron wash – domesticated and very house proud)
You might ask so why at almost 40 are you not married – well getting hitched ‘back home’ isn't really an option and I would ideally prefer not to get married to my cousins here given that I have had a massive hand in raising them (happy to explain more if need be)
You don’t get to live the life I have lived, see the things I have seen, and hear the things that I have heard, live through my experiences without picking up little clues about life, love and the bigger picture.
I know what kind of man I am (spoiler alert here come some self-professed praised) I know I am intelligent, considerate, sincere and thoughtful Muslim man.
As I look at my life there is a theme of ‘always wanting to do right by others’ that runs through it. Whether that be through work, helping victims overcome horrific ordeals and trying to show them that life can get better and that it can move on, or taking the child who has little self-belief, low self-esteem and through the power of sport show him (or her) that they can be good at something watching them smile and leave with a bounce in their step is something that motivates me to get up each and every morning
I want to do right for myself and my wife but the frustration of being online and having to go through the fake process of showing anything and everything but your soul is what drives me to pulling my hair out.
Sure, I want to know things about you of course I do, but I want to know YOU first. I want to know your thoughts, your fears, your hopes, dreams, ambitions before. I want to know what makes you tick (that to me is more important than anything else.
I want to be able to tell my parents that I am getting married, and all that time they thought I was doing anything other than looking to get married has come to an end. That their son was raised with enough dignity to know what is right and wrong and making his parents happy was something he had been trying to do for so long but was never successful because the woman he was looking for was so special that her presence in my life was something not to be rushed.
I don’t need some drop dead gorgeous model (and let’s face it, some of you women should be models you are Ma-shallah stunning) but I don’t want a stunning looking wife. I want a wife of substance, of depth, of character someone that is happy to show me her soul (as messed up or as amazing as it is) not of her all dolled up and looking like she should be on the cover of some fashion magazine)
A wife I can look at and think wow, look at this amazing, strong, intelligent, considerate woman that when she opens her mouth I want to listen to what she has to say. A wife whose hands I can hold look her deep in the eye and tell her that it took me a long time to find her, and there were times I wanted to give up, but the idea of finally being able to hold her, look into her eyes and to tell her she was worth all the ups and downs was what kept me going.
I know we all want to be happy, and in an ideal world getting of this site and to spend time with the one that we have been searching for rather than just searching, but for some of us that means taking a risk, for others that means wanting absolutely every condition we can think of being met, and not settling on anything less, my only plea to you my fellow Muslim if you would allow me the privilege of giving you some advice is to look with your heart, not with your eyes.
A good friend of mine once said ‘don’t look at her shakkal (face) but look at her akkal (intelligence) and I cant summarise it any better than that but to simply add, your akkal will reflect your soul and that is what I really want to see.
What I Am Looking For
I fear that I have rambled on and probably sent most of you to sleep, or you have thought forget that I am not reading all that… and you know what, that’s great because you are not the kind of woman that I am searching for. The woman I am searching for has done nothing but read quietly take it all in and I am hoping she feels a sense of similarity and almost feels like she knows me before she has even met me.
I want her to perhaps feel we think along similar lines and nothing would make me happier than to be the man she hopes me to be… a man that is defined by his actions and his intentions. I want her to believe that is not what he looks like but how he treats and how he makes her feel each and every single day that show what kind of man he is.
I am hoping she has met her fair share of time wasters and part of me almost wants her to be sceptical and cynical of me (nothing more amazing that earning the respect and trust of an intelligent woman) and believe me nothing would make me happier to earn that respect.
THAT woman is the one that I am looking to get to know, now I just have to sit back and wait for her to message me back, and Insh-Allah start a new chapter ….
My life is always quite busy I am out most evenings and weekends with commitments that mean a lot to me so ideally looking for someone that is relatively close by as this just makes things much more easier
thank you for reading