A Little Bit About Me
British Muslim of North Indian lineage. Speak fluent Urdu and share culture with majority of Pakistanis. Qualified Doctor aH, currently a Senior Fellow in Cardiology - long and challenging route with a very busy working life awaits me.
Live with parents and hope to do so when married due to old age/their loneliness/out of love. But will make sure, without a doubt, we have enough space and privacy to live our own lives. aH my parents are not the interfering and meddling type, they're fully aware of the wife's rights over me and will make sure they are given in full. No other man at home other than father so she can take her hijab off freely and aH enough space to live with children and parents comfortably. If problems do arise then of course situation changes and I'm more than open to discussing alternatives.
I’ve written this in bullet points and not prose to make it easier to read, please don’t assume the tone just because it’s a bit direct :)
- Pray 5 times a day (Fajr can be difficult sometimes, working on it iA and improving aH), fast during the year, read up on Islam and listen to lectures/attend events. Want to continue improving iA. Islam means everything to me; I'm not perfect and need to continue striving inshaAllah, so much I want to do such as learn arabic, perfect tajweed, memorise more of the Quran, learn fiqh etc. If I stay still in my deen I would not be happy, want to always move forward.
- However over last 3 years due to working full time the amount of lectures and events I attend/listen to has reduced but my profession counts as ibadah aH and it is through this avenue that I hope to seek closeness to Allah; it also means I have little time to do extra activities that I want to do such as learning fiqh or arabic but I am still hopeful for the future
- Don't celebrate Milad or do Khatams
- Don't have female friends as I do my best to keep it halal ie. only purposeful, necessary and polite conversation
- I have been President of Islamic Societies and been heavily involved in charity work as well as leading charitable projects
- Completed Umrah three times aH and written for Islamic websites
- Enjoy joking around and like to make people laugh - whats life without the laughter? Probably have a big kid in me at times but that'll be good for my children!
- Sensitive and serious than most guys about things that really matter to me; I'm a principled guy but also very light-hearted and like to enjoy life.
- Big romantic at heart.
- I care about peoples' feelings. People rely on me and talk to me about their problems.
- I hope I'm gentle but also firm when needed.
- Introvert by nature in social settings but when I'm around people I'm comfortable with, I open up a lot.
- Don't swear, avoid slang as much as possible, detest anything vulgar/crude and am not a loud person.
- Confident about my abilities aH without iA bordering on arrogance and iA just as humble about my flaws
- Dislike any programmes like Big Brother/Eastenders/MIC/Kardashians
- Strongly believe in upholding values and morals especially when it comes to dealing and behaving with others.
- I'm very loyal and also put grave importance on hayaa.
- I really dislike blind nationalism and arrogance
- I dislike wastage in any form
- “The best of [men] are those who are the best to their wives" - Prophet Muhammad (saw), iA I will treat my wife with the utmost respect and hope I can give her much happiness iA.
- Family orientated but enjoy going out with my friends regularly too
- In touch with my culture. Speak urdu, wear the clothes, eat the food and watch the movies. aH nothing bidah/shirk/weird that you can sometimes find in indo/pak culture and Islam will always comes first. Don't have any backward mentality and stay away from the bad aspects of our culture e.g. gossiping/backbiting/family politics/bidah. Although recently, I've been made aware I'm not actually as cultural as most who call themselves cultural...I guess we've always done everything in moderation aH
- Love going out and eating/going for walks etc. But also love relaxing at home with my parents and having quiet night ins.
- Islamic societies, charity work
- Movies are a real passion of mine (both Hollywood and Bollywood and I'm a big SRK fan - really enjoy most of his movies)
- Sports, eating different cuisines, travelling the world, driving.
- Enjoy travelling, aH been very lucky to have travelled to 60 cities in 29 countries so far; love to explore new places and learn about the history as well as enjoy different sceneries. Obv travelling for one is cheaper than wife and kids so everything within our means for the future iA
For me, marriage is the most beautiful phase of life with a beautiful companion. I cannot wait to not only have a new family with my in-laws but also be a devout husband, friend and father to the children of my wife iA.
In order to be a good husband or wife and fulfil the rights upon each other in a marriage, one must first be a good Muslim. If we cannot fulfil all our obligations to our Lord, who has the greatest right over our lives, how can we expect to do so to others. The best spouse, by definition, will aim to be the best Muslim. I pray I am able to achieve this iA.
What I Am Looking For
Someone with a strong foundation in deen, beautiful character and a sweet and gentle personality who is both playful and serious when appropriate.
Some things I am looking for iA:
- Strict hijab + preferably loose clothing/abaya (not a must)
- Doesn’t have male friends
- Someone who can speak Urdu well or at least willing to learn
- Doesnt mind regularly watching both Hollywood and Bollywood movies
- Takes good care of her fitness, figure and health
- Someone who doesn’t travel abroad without a Mahram and doesn’t stay out late at night
- Doesn’t celebrate milad
- Happy to live with my parents
I also need someone strong enough to stand up against injustice and correct people in an appropriate and soft manner even if it be against her parents or my parents or even myself. It is important for me to have a spouse who understands her roles and responsibilities as a wife and how the household should be run Islamically. Who also understands how the partnership works between husband and wife and will be a powerful and influential advisor who will support her husband in the decisions he makes. Equally a woman who understands my roles and responsibility as a husband and will guide me to be a better man. Someone who will be unquestionably loyal is key.
I also need someone who understands my profession is demanding. I work long days, weekends and night shifts. Outside working hours I have to do a fair amount, like any profession, to continue boosting my CV. I don't chase success or money, I chase ihsaan (excellence); all my dreams and goals, whether academic, spiritual or family related, have the intention of achieving them for the sake of Allah iA.
My wife and children will always be my priority, and my dream of being a father and husband is greater than being a Doctor, but understanding between the two is needed in order for me to achieve excellence on both fronts iA. I won’t be able to attend every single family event or go to any regular Islamic classes but I will always give everything I have to ensure it works iA. Some of my role models are brilliant Doctors and family men so there is no reason why I cannot achieve both as long as I have a loving, strong and supportive woman behind me.
There are many things that need to be discussed before marriage and also whether we can establish chemistry and an understanding.
If you don't have all these criteria but feel you may do so in the future then thats okay, just let me know :)
If you are a feminist, there's a good chance we won't be right for each other lol - what I mean by feminism is this western concept; the laws and rights given to men and women by Islam are far superior than the western concept and someone who is a good Muslim will be a champion of womens rights (such as equal pay and against harassment/violence/discrimination) but in accordance with Islam.
Please don't request photos without actually having spoken to me :) Happy for people to contact me, would actually prefer it as my profile is rather detailed so easier for you to work out if we would be compatible.
ps. The website states in its Code of Conduct to reply to messages out of basic adhab and akhlaq. If you are not interested then the correct thing is to state that, and that choice will be completely respected, but to ignore someone/block them without reason is very disrespectful and rude.
pps. I understand some people look for those of same culture, as do I, but when two people share the same language, food, clothes etc and therefore have identical culture and one rejects the other because of the words India or Pakistan, it greatly saddens me. I have had this done to me because I am an Indian, no other reason - this is insulting and belittling for me. Not to mention looking down upon someone purely out of race is morally and Islamically wrong.