A Little Bit About Me
Hope you and your family are well and good. My last profile was more of an autobiography and perhaps a bit tiring for some, so now I have decided to concise it by making it into bullet points, divided between who I am and who I am searching for. With the name of Allah the Almighty and after sending Peace and Blessings on the Beloved Prophet Muhammad, his Blessed Companions, his Beloved Family and the Righteous and the Pious (Peace and Blessings be upon them), here I begin:
1. I am Fahad Majid, a resident of Bareilly, Uttar Pradesh, India, a city 250 kms east of the Indian capital New Delhi and 250 kms west of the state capital Lucknow.
2. Alhamdulillah, I am a Sunni Muslim, also known as Barelvi Muslim in the terminology of the Muslims of Indo-Pak ethnicity. In other parts of the world, it can be referred to as Sunni Sufi Muslim.
3. I follow the Hanafi school of Fiqh.
4. I am not a Salafi, Deobandi, Shiite (Shia), Ahmadi or pseudo-Sufi.
5. I am not liberal in matters of Deen.
6. Alhamdulillah, I am a practicing Muslim, well to be honest, I try to be practicing as much as possible and I seek forgiveness from Allah the Almighty for the mistakes that I make.
7. Alhamdulillah, I am a graduate in Islamic studies from a religious seminary based in Bareilly, UP, India. Before that, I did my primary and secondary education from International Indian School, Riyadh and Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
8. I belong to the Sheikh caste/clan/tribe (People of the Indian subcontinent will understand this).
9. I was born and brought up in Saudi Arabia and returned back to India when I was almost 16 years old. I kept on revisiting it afterwards also till my parents resided there.
10. In my family, Alhamdulillah, I have my parents, an elder brother and a younger sister (both unmarried as of now).
11. I was obese before, then Alhamdulillah, I adopted a healthy lifestyle with controlled eating and regular exercise and now Alhamdulillah, my BMI is normal, not even overweight. But still I would classify myself as chubby rather than slim.
12. Alhamdulillah, I am free from any major illness or physical handicap.
13. I do not wear glasses or contacts
14. I do not smoke in any form, not even hookah. I don’t use tobacco in any form
15. Alhamdulillah, I am still a virgin and have never been in any sort of casual relationships with any females.
16. Alhamdulillah, never kissed a woman or hugged her or any other things of this sort.
17. I feel I am quite humorous but it totally depends on the humor level of the front person as well
18. I am allergic to strong perfumes, deodorants, incense sticks, body lotions with perfume, dust, changing weather and strong smells. All of these trigger a sneeze attack for me and I have to take medication at the earliest to stop it from troubling me more.
19. I am fluent in spoken English, Urdu, Hindi and have a certain command over classical Arabic and Persian
20. I do not like spicy food at all. Too much oily food is also a no-no for me
21. I do not drink tea at all. I drink coffee only in extreme winters.
22. Alhamdulillah, I know the abc of cooking and kitchen management. In some dishes, I might even know the xyz
23. I am well accustomed to various cultures and ethnicities around the world because of my time spent growing up in Saudi Arabia, which is a multi-cultural and multi-ethnic country due to large amounts of immigrants.
24. I am not much of a travel enthusiast but hopefully, Insha-Allah, with my wife and kids, I would like to travel to a few Muslim countries and Muslim-friendly countries. Of course, the Holy Cities of Makkah al Mukarramah and Al Madinah Al Munawwarah are on the top of the list and hopefully Insha-Allah, Jerusalem too as well.
25. I might be moody sometimes but can also remain calm in situations where others would lose their minds. Sometimes, even the simplest of issues might bother me a lot and I might get grumpy and sometimes, even in difficulties, I remain calm and composed and even try to keep others around me calm and composed.
26. I am not one of those who are always ready to have a fit of anger at any given time. In fact, I avoid such people myself
27. I do not use foul language, especially cursing someone’s parents, siblings etc.
28. I am more of an introvert
29. I can drive a car and ride a scooter, if you are interested to know.
30. I have the responsibility of my parents here so I will not move to any other location, neither in India nor any other part of the world.
31. Yes, I do live in a shared house with my parents and my siblings, which is quite normal in the Indian Subcontinent, but it is not just any house. It was built from scratch in such a way that there is no intrusion of any family member into any one’s personal space. I have my own set of 2 bedrooms with attached bathrooms, a guest room with an attached bathroom, a kitchen, a lobby, a front patio and a personal parking space. But if there is any sort of need and requirement, each one of us is there for the other to immediately go and assist. So, we are living together and at the same time, we are in our own spaces as well.
32. I will never ever shift my parents to an old-age home as is the norm in non-Muslim cultures.
33. I have started to gray a little bit and I do not intend to use black dye as it is forbidden in the Hanafi Fiqh for both men and women. In the future, will I use any other color, I cannot say right now.
Well, that pretty much sums up who I am.
What I Am Looking For
Now, here are my points for the qualities that I would prefer in you.
1. Obviously, you must be a Sunni Muslim, no compromise in this.
2. You must not be a Salafi, Deobandi, Shia (Shiite), Ahmadi or pseudo-Sufi, again no compromise.
3. If you do not know what the above terms stand for and just label yourself as a simple Muslim, then too we can talk.
4. I would prefer if you follow the Hanafi School of Fiqh, though not a condition.
5. You must be willing to adorn yourself with Islamic knowledge and rise above customs and traditions that are contrary to the teachings of Islam. In regards to this, I would hold some lessons for you, lessons regarding beliefs, practices, Tajweed (proper recitation of the Holy Quran) and other aspects related to Deen after marriage, hopefully on a daily basis. I sincerely wish that you would show zest and fervor in learning more about Islam from me as then, I would get 2 rewards, one of being your husband and secondly, being your teacher.
6. Of course, if you are more learned than me, then I will be the one taking classes from you and enroll myself under your tutelage.
7. You should be a practicing Muslim or someone having the fire within to practice. You must not be someone who wants to wait till old age to become a practicing Muslim. Future is never guaranteed, we are accountable for our present.
8. Hijab is uncompromising for me. I cannot and will not marry you if wearing a Hijab after marriage will be an issue for you.
9. Where I live, I might even request you to wear the Niqab because beauty of a woman starts with her face and I would not want any man to view your beauty and have vile and vulgar thoughts about you.
10. No matter where you are from in this world, I would want you to shift your base to my home, in my city. I do understand that for some, this is a big call, seeing that India is not much of an advanced country. But still, as I said, I will not shift anywhere and this is a decision that you will have to take on your own.
11. Mutual attraction is a must in marriage. For me, attraction is very subjective. How many times have I seen people going gaga over a woman’s beauty which I found to be totally exaggerated. Sometimes, I find faces that do not have tons on makeup on them, just plain natural faces, I find that they are more attractive than those with makeup on. So, I am not going to be making decisions just on what others might think as beautiful or not beautiful. A not-so-beautiful face with a beautiful personality is regarded highly by me rather than a beautiful face with an ugly personality.
12. I hope and pray that you are free from any major medical issues or any physical handicap that might be a hindrance in our family life.
13. Insha-Allah, I would want children. I do not have a set number in mind but yes, I would want to make sure that Insha-Allah, if Allah the Almighty bestows us with one or many children, that I am able to provide them with proper Islamic guidance and upbringing, worldly comforts and amenities and fulfill their needs.
14. If you can cook and the aroma of your dishes fills the whole house, then Masha-Allah, you are having a talent within you that many would prefer. Would I prefer it, certainly not if I am trying to lose weight or not gain extra weight, haha.
15. Just because I don’t take tea or coffee does not mean I will stop you from it. You are totally free to eat and drink whatever you desire.
16. Exercise or fitness must have an important role in your life. It is not important to go to the gym. Simple walking, stretching and some lifting exercises in the house are enough to maintain a good physique.
17. If you are a widow or a divorcee, I have no issue with that at all. Yes, every man wants that his wife is a virgin but for me, this is a secondary aspect. Your Iman, your good deeds, your good behavior, your charming personality, your smiling face, these are more important for me that your virginity. No one marries the first time thinking of something bad but bad things happen, things that are not under our control. So, if you are a widow or a divorcee, it is not your fault and when something is not your fault, I do not find you faulty. Hence, I am fully comfortable to marry you if you are either of the one.
18. I can look into marrying someone who is either equal in age to me or marginally elder.
19. I cannot marry someone with children if her ex or his family has a say in their children/grandchildren’s lives. In this aspect, I would prefer if she is totally cut with her ex and her ex-in-laws. Other than this, I don’t think personally I will have a problem with her kid/kids.
20. In our day and age, the more a woman prefers to stay at home, the more it is better for her honor and safety. Many Hadiths too point towards the importance of a woman staying at home. So, if you are someone who hates to stay at home, I think it will be a problem between us. Occasional outings, shopping, touring, eating outside are not an issue. I do not intend to cage you inside our home. But I also will not allow total freedom to go wherever you wish, whenever you wish without informing me.
21. It is equally important for you to respect my family as I will respect yours. Jokes regarding family members will not be tolerated. If there are any issues, it is better to discuss rather than cuss each other’s family.
22. It is very important for us to have open conversations rather than hold anything inside our hearts. Anything that would displease you, I would prefer if you say it to me directly. Arguments are part of any marriage but it does not mean to disrespect each other.
23. Fluency in either English or Urdu is a must. If you are fluent in Arabic as well, then Masha-Allah, it is a very positive aspect within you
24. I can marry reverts if they have accepted Islam in totality and not just some aspects of it.
25. As you must have known by now, I am dead serious about marriage and I have not come here to marry you for some worldly reason. Sadly, Indians are infamous when it comes to marry someone outside of India but I assure you that Allah the Almighty being my witness, if you are from outside of India, only your Deen and personality will attract me to you, not your nationality, not the worldly comforts of the western life.
26. In any relationship, there is a leader and there is a follower. If you have objections to me being the head of the house, then I would suggest that we not talk because it is Islam that has given the husband an authority over his wife and not the other way around. There are some modern-day feminists who question the authority of a husband and want to be “equals” in each and everything. I am against this thinking
27. Of course, there will be consultations and discussions with you but ultimately, the last decision in any matter has to be mine and I would not want you to think that I am undermining you if I decide something contrary to your stance. Of course, in matters where Shariah provides us with an answer, it will be Shariah that will be followed, not me, not you.
28. Insha-Allah, you will not find me like those husbands who beat up their wives and are abusive.
In the end, I would like to say that Allah the Almighty has made marriage a blessing for those who want to love and be loved. The day when I say, I want to marry you, I want you to be the one with whom I want to spend my life with here in this world and eternally in Jannah as well. Such is the commitment I want to show you in our relationship and hopefully, you would show the same love and commitment to me as well. Rest, we will keep on praying to Allah the Almighty to keep the love between us kindled and remove all those people from our lives who are jealous of our lovely married lives and we will Insha-Allah keep on supporting each other the best we can and Insha-Allah, helping each other towards Jannatul Firdaus.
Thank you for reading my profile. If you are interested to further talks with me, kindly like my profile or send me an introductory message. Keep me in your prayers.